What makes the difference between someone who lashes out
like a wounded animal at their offender and those who exhibit such grace? God’s
word tells us, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Romans 12:21
Forgiveness does not come easily, nor does it come without
God’s intervention. The natural man wants retribution, and quickly, but it can
become a vicious cycle. The need for revenge can erode the best parts of a
person as well as his relationship with God. The Bible tells us that when we
have anger against our fellowman, we should resolve that anger before we
approach God to worship Him.
So how do we resolve the resentment and anger that takes control when we have been wronged? One step is to heed God’s
command in 2 Timothy 2:24 (NIV).
“The Lord’s servant
must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not
resentful.”
As difficult as it seems, we must keep our words of anger to
ourselves. This does not mean that we cannot have healthy disagreements. It
means that we should not say hurtful words to someone who has wronged us. Writing
in a journal provides an outlet for hurt feelings and the overflow of rage.
Anger directed at another destroys not only the perpetrator, but the victim as
well. Vent upward, not outward.
Another way to curb anger is found in Proverbs. “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to
eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.” (Proverbs 21-22)
What? Give my enemy food? Are you kidding? After what he did
to me? No way.
These were exactly my thoughts when God led me to these
verses. How could He expect me to feed someone who had hurt me so terribly? It
didn’t make sense. The thought only served to fan my anger.
Peace stood at a distance. Watching. Waiting.
What is interesting about the act of providing food and
water is that hate and provision cannot co-exist. The one will push the other
away. Also, food and water does not always literally mean something the other
person can eat or drink. It can at times be a metaphor for whatever good
you can do for that person such as offering shelter, clothing, warmth, a kind
word. Anything that will bless your enemy.
Matthew 5:44 (NKJV ) says “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do
good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and
persecute you.”
Whew! I have to pray for them too? Isn’t that asking a
little too much?
Peace inched a little closer, but still stood outside my
reach.
How do you even pray for someone whom you’d like to break
into pieces and scatter over the highway for the birds to feed upon? As difficult
as it seems, it is actually the simple act of saying the words even when the
words contradict your feelings. If we have aught against someone when we come
before God, He will not listen to us and God is where the peace resides, so if
we expect to experience the peace that He has to offer, then prayer for our
“enemy” is the most important step we can take in receiving that harmony within
our soul.
It may take a while for sincerity to catch up with the
words. Emotions can shatter in an instant but take quite some time to rebuild.
Forgiveness and healing does not come easily, nor does it come quickly, but it
will come when we follow God’s directions.
1.
Do not say hurtful things to your enemy.
2.
If it is within your power, make provision for
his needs.
3.
Pray for restoration and blessing for that
person.
The survivors in Charleston demonstrated a deep and abiding
faith with God in their ability to say words of forgiveness to a troubled young
man who committed such a senseless act that will leave scars on their hearts
for the rest of their lives, but what a shining example they are. Their words
of forgiveness were drawn from a deep well of spiritual knowledge that healing will
come in the ability to bless and not curse the source that caused their pain. May God provide supernatural comfort to them
as they move forward.
Have you ever been so hurt by someone that it took power
beyond your own to show grace to that person? If so, I pray that you have
experienced healing and now can encourage others who are struggling to forgive
someone.
