All of us have reached a point in our lives when we feel like we are at the end of the rope. In fact, I would say this probably happens several times over the course of one’s life. The past couple of months have been one of those times for me. It has not been any one thing that has caused me all the distress, but several relentless events that converged together at the same time with enough persistence to catapult me into despair. Grains of sand, Jentezen Franklin called them in one of his sermons, little grains of sand that alone would be considered inconveniences or irritants but several grains banded together in your shoes can wear the skin off your feet over an extended period of time.
And so, after a couple of months of lonely holidays as a divorcee, excruciating deadlines at my day job with long hours, the beginnings of a head cold, writing frustrations, and monetary shortages, I had a meltdown. Any one or two of these things would have been manageable, but all of them together left me exhausted, feeling hopeless, and lacking direction.
I am an accountant by day and a writer by night. This past Saturday I had to work extra hours on my day job because of a looming accounting deadline. Already burned out from the long hours for the past sixty days, I literally had to force myself to get dressed and move forward. I wanted to curl up in a warm place and sleep through the rest of the winter, but I pushed those thoughts aside and dressed for work.
Around lunch time a writing friend and mentor called to check on me. I didn’t mean to unload my burdens on her, but she phoned right when I felt like letting go of the end of the rope. She said, “Well, let’s just pray about this right now.”
She asked God to give me wisdom in my work and for my hectic schedule, specifically praying that I gain wisdom to see the big picture rather than wallow in the details. Definitely something I needed since I was buried deep in the details. I felt like a dog chasing his tail, stuck in an endless cycle that was going no where, frustration building to a frenzy.
My friend’s prayer was effective. By the end of the day I had a clear vision of how to handle the situation in which I now found myself. As I stood in the doorway of my office and surveyed the mess of papers strung out all over my desk and the floor, I asked God for his long range wisdom for my situation. Once I stepped aside and allowed God to infuse me with His wisdom, He revealed to me that pride clouded my ability to think clearly. Pride had kept me from seeking professional help in an area that I was supposed to be quite capable. I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t figure out the problem myself, but once I realized pride kept me in this cycle of frustration, I began to formulate a viable long range plan for dealing with the time consuming problems that kept me in over my head. If I had sought wisdom earlier, I could have been spared much of the extra work and frustration.
Why do we always wait until we are at the end of our rope to cry out? It doesn't make sense, but as humans with short sighted mentalities, we hang onto that slippery cord as long as we possibly can. We stare downward into the abyss over which we dangle precariously in despair of what lies beneath before something causes us to look upward and send that signal for help.
Have you ever had a situation in which a prayer for wisdom helped you understand what was compounding your frustration? If so, please share!
